About Me

Me, in a nutshell? I'm a mother to two tow-headed girls, an ancient (almost 16!) Silky Terrier named Haggis, and a mini goldendoodle named Glen, he's a pup. I'm married to a Scottish import, Kenny's from north of Edinburgh. He's very calm, I'm very excitable, it works. He works from home, running our (*his) engineering firm, and I work from home, making felt vaginas and other ladybits. There's a good balance going on! We live downtown Burlington (Ontario), where we can walk to gorgeous lake Ontario, local shops, the pub, the kids' school, cafes, waterfront walks...

I’m a happy soul, our life is simple and content.

So...um...vaginas? Well, in December of 2012, I set off for a solo weekend up north. I was armed to the teeth with neutral coloured pieces of plasticky craft shop felt, I was going to make my kids' preschool teachers a few woodland animal ornaments for their Christmas gifts. While I’d never sewed anything, I've always had a creative bent, so I thought nothing of whipping up a few animal ornaments.

Huh. Turns out I'm not so much a woodland animal ornament maker.

That weekend, felt penis ornaments happened. I was watching a Liam Neeson movie, phwoar, hello inspo! The teachers loved the penis ones! (As have subsequent elementary school teachers lol. Maybe not your everyday teacher gift, but when it's me doing the gifting, a little kitsch is expected ha!).

A few weekends later, felt vagina ornaments happened - I have a happy lesbian friend, and we thought she needed representation!

In the battle of the felt genitalia ornaments, turns out vaginas indeed rule the world (hello, they do), and Vaginament and Felt Melons happened. They happened so big that Vaginament is now a registered trademark with the USPTO, and their design is formally registered with the US Copyright Office...I'm a proud Mother Hen <3

At 44, it seems I am a mother, wife, and creator of vaginaments and other oddballeries made of heirloom quality wool-blend felt. How great is that :)

Vaginament. It's an ornament, just way better <3


> current Felt Melons Etsy shop: www.feltmelons.etsy.com (except it's more expensive there, fees and stuff)